Requiem for a Girl

[davejadecollab]

guanineGadfly [GG] started pestering timewarpGypsy [TG]

TG: hey harley
GG: hi strider!!

You grin at the computer, and prop your elbows on your cement blocks turned desktop. He replied, and he seemed pretty cheerful about it. It’s been a while since he’s responded to any of your messages, and you hope it’s not because he suddenly realized he hated you, or he didn’t want to chat. You’re almost a hundred percent sure he was simply busy.

Or his devilcrow was being a piece of shit again. That bird was hell incarnate, it squawked and screeched before teleporting out of your line of sight. You’ve told Harley to get rid of it, but he's beyond attached to the thing.

Ugh.

TG: so whats up you doing well
TG: and stuff i mean you were pretty off the radar
TG: for a while
TG: john and rose were concerned

You gotta take the spotlight from you, gotta blame the other pair in your quad of friends. Wouldn't want to make him think you were worried, or anything, because you're not, nope. Not at all. On a scale of one through ten, you were the coolest cucumber at a frosty two.

Of course you weren't, but you have a thing for appearances. You bite at your lower lip, already chapped from the Houston sun, and split from training sessions with your Grandpa. He was wicked with a rifle, but never aimed a shot at you. It was some sort of honor thing, who knew for sure. Your Grandfather was a total enigma, with enough hunting trophies to populate several of your fridges.

GG: haha really?? it seems like you were the concerned one jade!
GG: its okay you can admit your anime school girl crush on me
GG: the harley can take it!!
GG: :P
TG: anime school girl crush
TG: someones been watching their sailor moon
TG: do you want me to play the part of tuxedo mask and sweep you off your feet
TG: mysteriously appear and disappear when youre not looking
TG: i dunno dave that seems pretty lame
TG: you okay with losing your manly manliness
GG: can it strider!!
GG: i am totally manly in fact
GG: i shed one tear at the ending for that stupid magical girl anime
GG: your dumb megucas or whatever
GG: homura was pretty cool though shes my favorite
TG: here i was hoping you were madly in love with sayaka or something
TG: homuras kind of hard to beat in the swoonworthy section
GG: do i smell jealousy?? i think i do
GG: is it because i find homura to be
GG: so coooooooool????
TG: can it harley

You flick your hair back, black razor cut bangs skimmed your eyebrows, and were an annoyance most of the time. They had no business of being in your face, especially with the lack of a stable AC. While you wait for Dave to reply, you run a hand through your pixie cut, and thank the deity above for having such a cool Grandpa, who lets you cut your own hair, whenever you feel like it.

God bless.

GG: jade??
GG: yo jade way to leave a lady hanging hahaha
GG: except not really
GG: wow lame okay :I

Oops, you missed a couple of messages. You minimize FreshJamz, and go back to Pesterchum to tend to your leading lady.

Man.

Not leading, just friend, totally friend, yes, so friendly you guys are the epitome of - who the fuck are you kidding, certainly not yourself. You and Harley go way back when, you guys met on some internet forum, and he thought your sick jams were “dope.” You immediately led him onto the road of remixing, and to be honest, he surprised you with today’s mix. It’s probably his best. A slow beat, a steady rhythm, he had total control over the music, and you were kind of jealous.

Just a little bit.

TG: sorry bout that mam
TG: sir
TG: whatever
GG: wow rude ass bitchtit!
TG: what the hell does that even mean
GG: it means whatever i want it to mean
GG: i mean it can be both an adjective noun and verb
GG: at the same time
GG: its pretty great
GG: really useful
TG: i
TG: okay

You stare at your computer screen for a couple of seconds, trying to analyze what the hell was even going on. You fail miserably, and place your chin on your hands, and let out a sigh. Time to try again.

GG: sorry um
TG: its fine im just kind of blinded from how much green text there is its kind of hilarious
TG: yup thats all
TG: dont worry harley youre not at fault here
TG: i dont think theres ever a time youre at fault
TG: shit
TG: i mean
TG: no yeah thats what i mean
GG: well gee thanks jade! that certainly makes this guy blush :I
TG: i dont mean it in a bad way
TG: youre the coolest of kids
TG: so coooool even
GG: heh

And that's the last conversation you have with jungle gentleman Dave Harley.

At least, until the game started.

==> Be Dave

No. That’s not something that can happen right now. Mr. Harley is terribly busy right now, he’s chasing a crow through a pyramid, and that’s a matter of terrible importance. Terrible timing, terrible timing, you’ve got the shittiest timing in the South Pacific, or wherever you are. The Medium is treacherous when it comes to locale, and Land of Ivory and Frogs doesn’t offer any respite. You’re being assaulted from all sides, J-Stri’s been pestering you ever since you entered, Egbert thinks yelling into her voice-to-text apparatus is a good idea (all you get from her is jumbled nonsense, you got to tell her to upgrade, and get a fancy computer like everyone else), and Lalonde is dropping his typical snarky comments. He’s particularly displeased with your outfit choice: a white suit with lime green trimming, and a tie of the same color. John thinks white doesn’t look good on an “Incredibly pale male specimen, especially with the color green. Dear god, Dave, you’re going to blind Jade when she meets you.”

You get the point. Lalonde’s right, as always. You do not want to blind the already blind girl.

But still. You’re getting anxious. She hasn’t shown up yet, and she’s always on time. It’s her deal, apparently, heroes of Time have domain over numbers, and chronology, and it’s all too weird for you to deal with. Space is nicer, it’s stable, with planes of energy and black holes, and the subject matter is familiar. You’re in your niche. She is in hers.

It’s four thirteen when she arrives, according to the broken pocket watch you carry around with you. Jade Strider is all sharp angles, and jutted bones, her skin is caramel, and her eyes are mahogany, bright red muted behind ebony shades. You adjust your shirt collar, and let out a cough. Was it getting hot? God damn that island weather. Medium weather. Whatever. When she catches your gaze, her lips contort into the silliest excuse of a grin, a one-pixel smile, and she slowly makes her way towards you. Every step is pre-planned, she’s a dancing to an imaginary song, and you find her mesmerizing.

Her black hair is cropped short, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen her wear it long.

“Hey.”

“Hello, Miss Strider.” You offer her a chivalrous grin, and bow mockingly, taking her right hand in your left. Her stoic expression flickers into something more comical, eyes widen for a millisecond before returning to their permanent squint. She’s perfectly still when you brush your lips against her skin. Her arm drops to her side, and she grants you a lopsided smile.

“I thought we were here to catch frogs,” she says, her ‘o’s stand out in a sea of cleverly combined letters and phrases. She drawls her vowels.

You tuck this piece of information in the back of your mind. Strider’s right. You’re here to catch frogs.

“Lead the way, J-Stri.” You gesture around the general area, you’re standing on white sand, and the sky is the color of bloody oranges. LOIAF is a wicked contradiction, and the contrast is making your head hurt. Jade’s unfazed, perpetually calm, and collected, even when she falls into a lake, face first, latching onto your blonde rattail for support, taking you down with her. You’re both soaking wet in grimy, plankton-infested liquid, the water is up to your chest when you stand up, and she’s scowling at everything, and you’re trying your damned hardest not to laugh.

You immediately sober up when Jade resurfaces, holding your forty-inch ex-rat tail in her hand. You feel for the missing locks of hair, and realize, too late, that your head is now the owner of a choppy, blonde hairdo.

Your vocal chords suddenly lose their ability to speak coherently. You are a glass case of emotions, you are blubbering, and mumbling, and Jade quirks her pierced brow at you, and tilts her head to the side. The girl looked down at her hand, lemon yellow strands curled around her fingers.

Jade let out what sounded like the lovechild of a yelp, and a scream, throwing the incriminating piece of evidence to the side. It landed on the water’s surface, and began to drift away.

“That didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.” You make the comment with the intention of being snarky, but it comes out as very hurt. Jade gives you an apologetic glance, and runs a hand through barely there hair.

“Sorry, Dave. I know how much your dumb ass rat tail meant to you.”

She never liked it, you knew that. She was probably laughing under that steely exterior. It’s then that you notice what she’s wearing. A short red dress, strapless. There’s black tulle underneath the main skirt, but it’s not like you’re looking there. From this view, her shoulder blades pop, and you unconsciously lick your lips. Strider fidgeted in her frock, and your smile falters. She probably felt uncomfortable. From your knowledge, and late night conversations, Jade wasn’t really a dress, or skirt, or anything remotely in that category, kind of person.

You felt a pang of sympathy. Jade was shaking in her tafetta and velveteen nightmare, and was wading out of the water. She plopped onto the shoreline, and stared up at the sky. You followed her, and offered your hand. She rolled her eyes, and took it, anyway. Once you were both up, the quest continued.

Somewhere along the way, somewhere in between a pale blue frog, and a luminescent gold, you realized the obvious.

You were falling madly in love with Jade Strider.

==> Dave: Be Jade

Fine. You’re Jade now. Happy?

After your run in with the lake, everything with involving a certain blonde male was electric. When he took your hand, you felt the ground shake, and your sunglasses could only do so much against the powers of ~ love ~, or whatever adolescent youths called it.

This was stupid.

Really stupid. Like his hair. God bless that thing is short, you weren’t sure how much longer you could take staring at the back of his head, knowing there was a monster back there.

You’re really good at changing the subject. It’s always been one of your greatest traits. Besides killing imps. Half-sword in hand, you and Harley are unstoppable, his sharpshooting skills were to die for, because well, everything he shot at tended to die.

You guys made a great team. If you wanted too, you guys would be better than John Lalonde and Rose Egbert.

Speaking of whom, Egbert’s been pestering you like crazy, and you haven’t had the chance to read her messages. You should soon, but it was kind of hard to. You were having loads of fun.

Yes, this was pretty fun. After successfully decapitating another imp, while Dave collected the fallen grist, you cracked a smile. Today was a good day.

A very good day.

“J-Stri, holy shit, look out!”

You turned around, and drew your sword against a crackling being of nightmares, and green light. A scarred face, with avian features: a hooked beak and beady eyes, led to a charred body, arms licked by flames, and legs brought to life by metal rods. Broken wings kept it aloft, and the creature snarled. His sword was made of obsidian, and your half-shit catastrophe was barely holding itself together.

“Jack.”

You couldn’t afford to say anymore, you were sprinting through time streams to get the upper hand. Jade after Jade slashed and hacked away at the carapace turned monster, while Dave traded in his hunting rifle for something with more firepower. An assault rifle sprayed bronze bullets across the field, and you screamed a curse, telling Harley to aim that piece of shit. He complied, and the battle continued.

Land of Ivory and Frogs was up in flames, you and Harley were back to back, while Jack Noir, now sporting Hertz’s crow-like appearance, multiplied and fought back, with intention to kill. Dave aimed, and fired repeatedly, never stopping unless it was to reload, and you had about twenty copies running around, two guarding the frogs, four saving consorts, and fourteen fighting the behemoth.

It was an uphill struggle, you were sure of your failure until Dave started shouting about fraymotifs, and things like “strider this is our only chance!!”, and “you gotta trust me on this one!!” that you let the tide wash over him. You were stretching yourself thin, and this wasn’t going to end well. Unleashing the Adagio Redshift was your only hope.

“All right, Dave. Let’s do this.”

***

Being too hopeful would be your downfall. Despite the damage Redshift inflicted on Jack, his first guardian powers would overthrow any chance of survival. He was cunning, conniving, and just smarter than you.

He was so goddamn poetic sometimes. Of course he wouldn’t kill you.

“Oh my god, JADE!”

Dave Harley dropped his rifle, and ran toward your bleeding, soon to be corpse. Bullet holes led way to gushers of crimson, and your special occasion dress was fit for a funeral.

Yeah. Great day today.

[S] Jade: Say Goodbye


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